Purple Eyes
by snakeofdreams
Summary: Naruto never believed in Kami like everyone else. Kami had never done anything for him. No, he believed in a god much more...real. Watch as he changes the lives of the most unlikely people. Yaoi, pairing not decided
1. Chapter 1

_Go to him, and return him to his former self. He was, and still is, a faithful follower. He shall be rewarded._ A voice whispered, unheard to all but one. His ear twitched, and his looked up to the sky. All around him, people were hurrying with their business, pushing past, only stopping to send him a glare. A blue eye narrowed, hiding an unquenchable hatred for those around him. He ran a hand through his hair, walking toward his apartment.

"As you wish, Jashin-sama." Five words left his mouth, drowned by the sound around him. A smirk formed on his face, eyes glowing an amethyst colour. He would do what his God told him to do. As he neared his house-he refused to call it a home, someone called his name. He turned, and frowned.

"What do want, Sai-teme?" He growled, all seriousness and danger suddenly leaving his voice, replaced by an annoying, obnoxious whine. The boy in front of him, with black hair and eyes that were oh-so-familiar to him, watched him.

"Calm down, dickless; I just came to tell you- what happened to your eyes?" The emotionless boy asked, fake smile leaving his face. The one he was looking at blinked, eyes widening, before he turned away.

"Nothing to do with you, teme. What did you want to tell me?" He said, loud, booming voice holding a small slice of cold indifference. Sai, as the boy had called him, looked at him intently, before letting his fake mask slip up again.

"There's a team meeting tomorro-" He began, but the boy interrupted him.

"Do me a favour, though Kami-_sama_," He added the suffix almost mockingly, "knows I don't deserve it. Tell Sensei I won't be there. Thanks, Sai." He thanked, after seeing Sai's questioning nod.

Sai grabbed his arm as he turned to leave. "Where are you going...Uzumaki Naruto?" He said, calling the boy by his name for the first time in a while. Naruto looked back, down at the hand holding onto the fabric of his jacket.

"I have things I need to do, people I need to see..." he trailed off, looking at Sai, eyes slowly changing back to bright blue. "See ya, Sai." He said, and walked off.

He felt Sai's eyes glued to his back as he walked off. He rolled his eyes. He entered his apartment, and walked to the bathroom. He looked into the mirror, seeing his blonde hair and whisker marks. His reflection stared back for a while, until Naruto got into the shower.

"Must be clean before making a 'pilgrimage'." He hummed, feeling Jashin's rewarding embrace. He walked out of his bathroom, toward his closet, naked. He opened it, eyes scanning across the orange and black jumpsuits, and his eyes landed on his 'special clothes'. He smirked, putting on a pair of boxers, and proceeded to put on the clothes.

They weren't 'special' at all. In fact, they were just civilian clothes, but Naruto liked it that way. He didn't want to be seen as a ninja. He wore black trousers with blue sneakers, and a blue t-shirt under a white buttoned-up shirt. Just for fun, he added a black tie.

"Gaki, where are you going?!" An older, male voice called out. Naruto sighed.

"Jashinist business, Jiraiya-ecchi." He said, turning around. Instead of an annoying old pervert behind him, there was a little Jiraiya plushie. The plushie's eyes widened happily.

"Did that god of yours tell you how to return me to a body?!" It asked, excitably. Naruto glared down at it.

"Don't insult Jashin-sama. You are only alive because Jashin-sama allowed me to revive you." He scolded, and Jiraiya sighed.

"Fine, gaki. I'm sorry." He grumbled something about crazed blondes and their psycho religions, but then looked back up at Naruto. "What are you going to do?" He asked, and raised his fingerless arms up to the boy, wanting to be picked up. Naruto's eyes softened, and he bent down to pick up the animated plushie that was about shin height. He placed Jiraiya on the bed.

He closed his eyes, toward the sky. The answer to his question came instantly. _You may tell the non-believer. _Jashin's 'heavenly'(AN: yh im LOLing too.) voice spoke to him. He told Jiraiya what he was up to.

Jiraiya growled. "You and your praying, gaki..." He said, and Naruto huffed.

"At least _I _get an answer, unlike you people and your 'Kami-sama'." He mocked, and the Jiraiya-plushie pouted.

"As you already know, I don't believe in gods. Mostly because-" He started, and Naruto continued, his hand making a 'blah,blah,blah' motion.

"'Because any religion that does not allow casual sex and super-perverted behaviour is of the devil.'" Naruto quoted, as if he had heard it millions of times before. "I know." He said, and reached over the plushie to pick up a strange rosary, with the Jashin symbol hanging from it. "I've got to go now. Ja, Jiraiya-ecchi." He said, and with a wave, walked out.

(WOOT! I'VE FINALLY GOTTEN MYSELF TO POST MY STORIES!!!!!!!!)


	2. Chapter 2

"Now I just have to remember where he was buried." He said, and answering his question, the rosary pointed the way, pulling Naruto along. He smiled, placing his hands together in prayer. "Arigato Jashin-sama for your kindness." He said to himself.

He followed the rosary, until his came to the rockslide. He grinned, and putting the rosary around his neck, he charged up a Rasengan. With a cry, he hit the rocks, making them mere dust. His sensitive ears heard speech getting louder.

"....-the fuck is going on!? Watch where you're blowing things up, BASTARDS!!!!" A voice yelled, and then quietened.

_I have brought another loyal follower to get your body back, Hidan. Do not take this gift for granted, or I WILL hurt you._ Jashin's voice said, and both the Jahsinists heard.

"...J-Jashin-sama! Arigato! Arigato for your mercy! Where is the other follower?" Hidan said, suddenly humbled. Naruto chuckled.

"How about looking up, Hidan-san?" He called, and Hidan's severed head somehow moved to see. His eyes widened comically. "Y-you?!" He yelled. Naruto jumped down into the hole he had blasted apart.

"Hai! Jashin-sama called me to get you." He said, picking up the head. Hidan looked at him angrily.

"Then why the _hell_ did you leave me after that fight?!" He asked, and Naruto looked down at him, eyebrow raised.

"You failed to kill." Naruto's eyes narrowed at that, "Also you lost like a weakling. It was punishment." He said, eyes glowing amethyst again. He raised a hand.

"W-WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HAND?!" Hidan cried, and Naruto giggled.

"So suspicious, Hidan-san!" He said, and licked his index finger. Hidan's eyes grew wider. Naruto brought the finger to Hidan's cheek, which was dirty from being buried, and wiped it clean. Naruto jumped out of the hole, looking around. "Do you have any idea where your body is?" He asked, and Hidan snorted.

"Prob'ly destroyed. Akatsuki takes the rings, and gets rid of the bodies." He was silent for a bit. Then he cursed. "That means Zetsu ate me! FUCK!" He yelled, and Naruto twitched.

"Hush, Hidan-san. Uwah, this is troublesome. If I don't have your original body, returning you to your former self is gonna be really hard." He said, sighing.

"Returning me to my former self?! What the-"

"I mean getting a body for you to use." He answered quickly. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Then you should have fucking SAID SO!" He yelled, before crying out as Naruto placed a hand on his mouth.

"I said hush! I've got to get you into Konoha without anybody noticing! So I need you to _be quiet_!" He hissed, taking out a large cloth scarf, and wrapped Hidan completely, with the exception of his mouth and nose. "I have to hide you, so people don't get suspicious. Please don't yell." He pleaded, and, surprisingly, Hidan stayed silent. "Arigato."

Naruto ran back to Konoha, only stopping when he accidentally shook Hidan's head too much. He turned Hidan's exposed mouth and nose away, into his stomach, and when he ran through Konoha everyone just thought he was carrying food.

As he closed his door, Naruto let a sigh of relief escape his lips. He slowly unwrapped the decapitated head, and smiled when Hidan glared up at him, still silent. "Don't look at me like that!" Naruto pouted, and placed Hidan on the table. "Jiraiya-ecchi, I'm home!" He called, and Hidan reacted.

"ACK! You're going to let the Sannin see me?!" He cried, and Naruto sat down in front of him, and placed a finger on Hidan's lips.

"Hai, because he ain't a Sannin no more. Nah, he's gone..." Naruot smirked, as the Jiraiya-plushie came into view. "Soft." He picked up the Jiraiya plushie, and set him next to Hidan.

"Your 'Jashinist business' was to get Hidan's head?" Jiraiya asked, sweatdropping. He looked down at the head. "This is the guy who killed Asuma? Not impressed." He said, and Hidan twitched.

"This is coming from a giant soft toy! If I had a body I'd kick the stuffing outta you, TEME!" He yelled, and Naruto let himself collapse, laying against the table.

"You two are so troublesome. Jashin-sama give me strength." He muttered, and got up, clapping his hands together. "I'm going to make some lunch." He announced, and got up. Hidan watched him intently.

"What's with the schoolboy clothes? I though you were all proud of that orange atrocity?" He asked, and Naruto looked back, bent over, from the fridge.

"Yeah, but that's what everyone sees when they look for me. I wear this because a civilian schoolboy is the last thing they'd expect me to be." He explained, rummaging through the food in the fridge. Hidan looked away from Naruto's ass, grumbling.

"You look like some kind of roleplaying boytoy." Jiraiya said, and Naruto stuck his tongue out at him.

"You've said that ever since you saw me wearing it." He huffed. Turning the stove on, he placed some butter on a pan to melt, and started cutting up the pork. He left it on the pan, and looked down at Hidan and Jiraiya.

"You look pretty out of shape, Hidan-san, and it's not just because you lack a body." He commented, and Hidan looked at him annoyed.

"Well, obviously, since I GOT BURIED." He said, deadpanned. Naruto sighed, and picked the head up, tucking him under one arm.

"Jiraiya-ecchi, can you turn the stove off when the pork is ready?" He asked, and after hearing Jiraiya's 'Hai', he walked toward the bathroom, and turned the bath on. "I'll wash your head, Hidan-san, but will the soap hurt your open neck too much?" He asked, and Hidan smirked.

"I'll take it for Jashin-sama." He said seriously, and Naruto chuckled.

"Right answer. Otherwise, I was just going to shove you in neck-first." He said, getting a stool, and sitting near the edge of the bath.

"A sadist? I didn't expect that from the Kyuubi-baka." Hidan mocked, and Naruto flicked him with some still-cold water, and made him splutter.

"It's a perfect plan, ne? It looks like I'm a stupid loser, or a defenceless pushover, but underneath I'm really an evil Jashinist!" He said dramatically, making Hidan snort.

Naruto leaned over the head, that was balanced of the bath rim, to rake his fingers in the water. "Ah, warm enough." He said, and picked Hidan up, dropping him into the water. Hidan blinked, and looked up through the water at the evil blonde, who was grinning down at him. "Calm down, Hidan-san, it's not like you can drown." He said, and lowered his hands into the water. He ran his hands through Hidan's hair gently, loosening any dirt of mud that had gotten stuck in the silver hair. He used his thumbs to clean his face, and smiled as he saw Hidan's purple eyes close contently against his will.

He lifted Hidan out, and placed him on a towel. "Now for the hair soap. I'll try and keep it out of your eyes, ne?" He said, softly and quietly. He grabbed the container, and lathered some of the liquid inside into Hidan's hair. He did gently, eyes closed happily.

After washing the soap out, he took the towel, and wrapped it around Hidan, drying the head on his lap. "There! You're all clean now! Well, a part of you is." Naruto said, running the towel through his fellow Jashinist's hair.

"Ar-Arigato." Hidan said, eye closed as it was wiped clean. "You're good at this. Do you have a job, beside a ninja?" He asked, and Naruto looked down in question.

"No, I'm a full-time ninja. Why do you ask?" Hidan looked away uncomfortably.

"It just seemed that you had been a hairdresser or a masseur. Don't get cocky, bastard." He added at the end to salvage what he thought was his drowning dignity. Naruto blinked, and giggled.

"Eheheheh, Arigato, Hidan-san, for the compliment. I think." He said. Hidan twitched, and opened his mouth to speak, but the door opened.

"Come on, you two. The pork's ready." Jiraiya said. Hidan tried to turn around.

"H-how did he open the door? He's only-" but as Naruto turned him, he saw the Jiraiya-plushie, who's grey hair had elongated, and wrapped around the doorknob. "Oh."


	3. Chapter 3

(This is a shout out to PdeathIwingE. Hi!)

Naruto stood, still holding Hidan, as the towel fell to the floor. "Hai. Take Hidan to the table, Jiraiya-ecchi. I'll finish lunch." He said, and jumped out of the room. Hidan could practically feel Jiraiya's glare after being thrown from Naruto's arms into a wrap of the plushie's hair.

"...What'cha staring for?!" Hidan asked, and Jiraiya grunted.

"You better not think of joining Akatsuki when you get your body back. I'll kill you, even if I am still in this form." Jiraiya threatened, then walked out of the bathroom, hair following behind him.

"Itadakimasu! Dig in guys!" Naruto said from the table, showing off loads of delicious-smelling food. Jiraiya and Hidan both gaped.

"F-fast..." They both muttered. Naruto grinned.

"I had the side dishes already made in the fridge. I made them this morning." He explained, and Jiraiya set Hidan on the table, and began to dig in.

"H-hey!" Hidan cried, too quietly. Jiraiya looked at him from the corner of his plushie-eye, but smirked, ignoring him. Hidan couldn't reach the plates, being just a head. Hidan looked up at Naruto, who was chewing on a piece of food. "Yo, er, Kyuubi-sacrifice-guy." He started, realising that he had forgotten the blondes name. Naruto looked down, blinking. He pointed to himself. Hidan nodded.

"It's just Naruto-kun to you, Hidan-san." He introduced, and Hidan repeated the name in his head (yh, I LOL too).

"Then stop with the 'Hidan-_san' _crap." He insisted, and Naruto nodded. He looked down, at his food. "Err, can you..." He trailed off. Jiraiya turned to him, smirking.

"What is it? Are you having problems?" He mocked, but was silenced by Naruto's foot to his face. "Umf!"

"Ignore the soft nuisance, Hidan-kun." He said firmly, and Hidan sighed. He mumbled something inaudible. "Pardon, Hidan-kun?" Naruto asked, and Hidan groaned.

"I SAID, can you feed me? I can't REACH!" He repeated, humiliated. Jiraiya started cackling. Naruto's eyes widened, then he glared at the plushie.

"Jiraiya-ecchi, you knew and didn't help?! That's it; I'm removing your stuffing!" He scolded, and the toy's eyes widened.

"No! I didn't know!" He lied, but Naruto had already grabbed him, cut him open, and pulled out the stuffing. "Gack! Now I can't move! I CAN'T EAT!!!" he cried, but Naruto ignored him, picking up Hidan's chopsticks.

"Open wide, Hidan-kun!" He ordered, and Hidan happily consented. He bit down on a piece of pork, and grinned.

"So you're a cook too?" He asked, smirking. Naruto blinked, and blushed.

"H-Hai! I have to live, you know!" He said, almost defensively, but stopped when Hidan started chuckling.

"Calm down; I wasn't teasing you." He said, and received another mouthful of food. Jiraiya groaned, and sweatdropping, Naruto tossed a piece of broccoli into the toy's deflated mouth. Jiraiya blinked, and slowly ate the vegetable, some how not getting filled up. He made a face.

"Eww, broccoli!" He cried, and tried to spit it out, but Naruto placed his unused soup bowl on top of the plushie.

"Broccoli is good for you." He said sternly. He turned back to Hidan. "What are planning to do after you get your body back?" He asked. Hidan looked around the room, thinking.

"Eh, I'll probably just go on a world-wide pilgrimage until I find a purpose." He said.

Naruto looked away. "You're not going to rejoin Akatsuki?" He asked, and sneaked a look over at the other follower of Jashin, who was looking worriedly at Jiraiya.

"Probably not. I've died; means I can do what I want now. I don't answer to those bastards anymore." He said, and finished off the rest of his food, with Naruto's help. "Tch. Thanks." He said. Naruto grinned.

"You know, this has to be the first time I've had someone stay at my house, except Jiraiya," He looked over at the plushie. "But that was because he was stupid and got himself killed. It's nice to take care of someone." He said, mind drifting. Hidan burped.

"You're damn good at it, I'd stay here any day!" He announced, and Naruto chuckled.

"You ARE staying here. I like it." He said, before blinking, and turning away, red. Hidan's eyes widened, and then he grinned.

"You like IT? Or, do you like ME?" He asked, and Naruto looked back at him, before turning away again.

"N-nothing of the sort! I just like taking care of people! I've never really done it before!" He stammered, and Hidan frowned.

"People here really don't like you 'cuz of the Kyuubi, huh?" He asked, and when Naruto refused to answer, scowled. "Stupid non-believers..." He mumbled, and Naruto giggled.

"Yeah..." He said, and they were silent for a while, until Naruto got up. He took the bowls and plates, including the one on top of Jiraiya, and put them in the sink. "I'm going to take a bath..." He muttered, walking out.

Hidan looked down at the plushie. "You're very quiet." He observed, and Jiraiya sighed. To Hidan's shock, Jiraiya's hair pulled up, grabbing the stuffing, and putting it back into his stomach. He used one of his hairs to stitch himself up.

Looking over at the disembodied head, Jiraiya got up. "You don't seem to want to hurt Naruto..." He trailed off. Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"Why so protective? He has Jashin-sama's favour, he's safe." He said, watching the doll carefully. Jiraiya smiled, and it was only then that Hidan found the smile, consisting of a curves stitch-line, crossed with smaller stitches, disturbing.

"Naruto has been hurt a lot in the past. He's gotten past it, hiding it from everyone else, and I was shocked when I found out what happened to him. I want to make his future better, because that is the least he deserves. Though," Jiraiya paused, annoyed. "the way thing's are now, he's taking more care of me than I, him."

Hidan looked over to the open doorway from which Naruto had left. "The villagers were that bad, huh?" He asked, and Jiraiya nodded solemnly.

"He finds it hard for people to touch him, and he doesn't trust easily, no matter what it seems like in public. He's had it rough." He turned to Hidan, looking him over. "That's probably why he doesn't mind you. Apart from also being a Jashinist, you have no body to hurt him with." He said, and Hidan looked up suddenly, eyes wide. Jiraiya looked away in thought, then grinned, looking down at the head evilly.

"W-What's with that look of impending doom?!" Hidan cried, but in a blink of an eye got picked up by Jiraiya's hair, the bathroom door, flung open, and flew in, yelling.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH-*splash*" He shouted, hitting the bath water. He heard the door close, and Jiriaya's snickering.

"ACK!" Naruto cried, jumping back, slipping, and hitting the bath floor with a thud. Hidan looked up through the water, panicking, but abruptly stopped. He looked the now-naked Naruto up and down, mouth open slightly. Naruto's skin was red from blushing, and wet from the bathwater. Hidan raked his eyes over Naruto's thin stomach and strangely curved hips, stopping at between Naruto's legs. His pupils dilated, and his eyes widened. _Ooh, NICE!_ He though, desperately stopping a perverted smirk from appearing on his face. (ZOMG, HE'S SUCH A PERV!)

Naruto jumped back, legs closing inwards. He grabbed Hidan's head, and turned him away. "W-WHAT WERE YOU DOING YOU PERVERT!?" He cried. Hidan stumbled over his words, still in shock from what he just saw.

"That Jiraiya guy threw me in here! It's not my fault; I can't even walk!" He cried, and Naruto made a questioning noise.

"If-if that's true, then how did he get his stuffing back?" He tested. Hidan sighed in relief.

"He used that creepy hair of his! I swear I didn't jump in on purpose!" Naruto turned him around, and looked right into his eyes, blue irises turning purple. He sighed, lowering Hidan slightly.

"That sounds like something Jiraiya would do. To see how I react to having someone fall into my bathub." He said, and leaned back, sighing. "I'm so embarrassed right now..." He trailed off, a hand covering his eyes. Hidan took that chance to look the teenager over again. He allowed his smirk to unfold onto his face.

"Why? From what I see, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It all looks...good, in fact." He said slyly, and Naruto looked back at him sharply, eyes wide in shock.

"Wh-what?!" He asked, face turning red again. Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"You heard me." He said, and Naruto looked down.

"R-really? No one's ever-" He cut himself off, paling. Hidan looked at him in concern.

"No one's ever...?" He encouraged. Naruto's face was shadowed.

"No one's ever...said anything... like that. It was... always-" He paused, a scary look in his eyes. "Freak." He said suddenly. Hidan blinked.

"Wha-" He started to ask, but Naruto continued.

"Freak. Whore. Monster. Demon." He said, starting to shake. Hidan tried to interrupt.

"Who said-"

"I'm not a Freak. Whore. Monster. Demon."

"Stop-" Hidan was getting anxious now. He started hearing Jashin's voice in his head.

_Stop him, Hidan! His mind is clouded._ The god's voice sounded almost worried.

"Whorefreakmonsterdemon! Wwhorefreakmonsterdemon!" Naruto chanted, as if the words had been hammered into his brain.

"STOP NARUTO!" Hidan yelled, and Naruto gasped, looking up. Hidan saw shock and confusion in his eyes, then replaced with depression.

"Gomenasai." He whispered, pulling Hidan closed to him, hugging the head to his chest. "Gomenasai." Hidan closed his eyes.

"You didn't do anything, Naruto. It's okay." He said gently, feeling Naruto's sobs in his chest. After a while, Naruto stopped, and stood. He looked straight up, and Hidan looked worriedly at the big smile that was on the blonde's face.

"Yosh! I've got to meditate now. One must pray for their God!" He chirped. He placed Hidan down, and, away from Hidan's eyes, changed into his civilian clothes. He sat down on a cushion in his room, placing Hidan on the table, and closed his eyes. Hidan watched him for a bit, then descended into his own prayer trance.

He started to chant the words that he had long-since memorized to honour his god when he did not kill.

"-And towards Jashin-sama in all things-" He stopped, hearing something.

"**And towards Jashin-sama in all things,**" Naruto's voice was saying calmly. With a start, they both looked to the side, at their trance-plane. There, sitting on another floating rock through the empty nothingness was Naruto, looking over at him, a shaded weapon in front of him. His eyes widened. Instead of just a head, Hidan was sitting, body and all, three-bladed scythe sitting in front of him. Naruto coughed, and his rock moved far away from Hidan's. "I **shall act with death in mind, for death is absolute..."**

Hidan sighed, remembering what Jiraiya told him about Naruto's fear of touching people. "I shall act with death in mind, for death is absolute. Through death we are given life, and it is through death that our god thrives..." He continued, making his rock slowly move toward Naruto's. Naruto didn't seem to notice, drawn into his prayer. "Lay onto me the gift of everlasting life, in order for me to dutifully spread the word of Jashin-sama to the world. I swear on this weapon you have generously bestowed upon me to-" He stopped, cursing his lack of loyalty, and listened the Naruto's soft words.

"**Lay onto us the gift of everlasting life, in order for us to dutifully spread the word of Jashin-sama to the world. We swear on these weapons you have generously bestowed upon us to speak, kill and live in your honour.**" He was saying. Hidan blinked. Naruto had changed the prayer to a group chant, and thus was inviting Hidan to join him. Hidan moved his rock right to Naruto's, and they merged, so the two were sitting next to each other. Hidan noticed sadly that Naruto was now tense, but trying to keep calm.

"**We will answer your calls without delay, and carry your demands through without remorse...**" They said together, in harmony.

"Uwah...." Naruto's real voice, echoey and loud in Hidan's head, spoke. He opened his eyes too, leaving the trance, and looked over at the blonde. "I feel much better now." Hidan couldn't help but grin.

"Yeah, but now I really want to go kill some people!" He yelled, and Naruto laughed and picked him up.

"Then we must pay tribute to Jashin-sama, ne?" He asked, and covered Hidan up again. He snuck out of his house, running deep into the forest. Suddenly Naruto stopped, and smirked. Hidan used his senses to search the area around, and matched Naruto's expression. "A bandit camp, ne?" Naruto whispered, and unwrapped the head, and made the cloth a sort of sling, where he let Hidan sit.


	4. Chapter 4

(This is a slightly short chapter, because I need to cut it off before a new scene started, or it would be too long! I have to publish at the speed I write, so I don't end up making you wait two months due to writer's block.)

"What kind of weapon did Jashin-sama bestow upon you?" Hidan whispered, and Naruto grinned.

"You'll see, Hidan-kun, you'll see." With that, Naruto took out his rosary, and stepped out into view.

"What the- look guys!" A random thug called, upon seeing the blonde. "A stupid blonde kid walked in!" He mocked, and some other bandits joined him, watching the blonde in glee.

"Pretty cute blonde too. We could keep him as a pet until we get sick of him." One commented, and they stepped forward. Naruto moved his head to the side.

"Pet?" He repeated, and his innocent façade faded, showing a cold smirk. "You talk about controlling me as if you can. Jashin-sama would not allow it." He said, and Hidan smirked.

"Hah, what a laugh! Come 'ere, cutey-" One started, before the others jumped back.

"Is- Is that a head?!" One yelled, and Naruto looked down at Hidan, and laughed.

"Yeah I am, bastards!" Hidan yelled, grinning. "Come and get us if you can!" At this, the bandits freaked out, and rushed forward, hoping to silence the two, out of fear. Naruto giggled, and reached behind him, to what seemed to be nothing, but as he brought his hand into sight, a giant cleaver appeared. At the end , the metal tugged down, as a sharp spike. A bill-hook cleaver. (Like Rena's cleaver in Higurashi) It was about as long as his torso. Hidan looked at the weapon in Naruto's grasp, and whistled. "Ooh, NICE!" He commented.

Naruto jumped forward, slicing through three bandits. "Aah, it's so troublesome," He started, rolling his eyes."Keeping a blood ritual going when there is more than one opponent. Which means," Naruto bent down at little, ready to pounce. "the rest of you are expendable. All for Jashin-sama!" He cried, and, jumping and dodging, he weaved through the group, bodies flying in his wake. Hidan was laughing crazily the entire time, somehow not falling from his sling.

When only one bandit, the one who had wanted to make Naruto his pet, remained, Naruto stopped, lowering his cleaver. "And now...you." He said simply. His hand rose, stroking Hidan's hair, who gaped, before smirking again. The bandit jumped back, but cried out as Naruto's cleaver flew at him seemingly from behind the thug, just cutting through his face. Naruto caught the cleaver a centimetre from his face, and licked the sharp edge. "I've got your blood now. You're as good as dead." He sang, and with his weapon, carved the symbol of Jashin into the earth below him.

Almost gently, he dug the spike of his cleaver into his arm, and listened to the screams of the non-believer in front of him. He tutted.

"If you're begging for mercy now, dear, you are going to be extremely disappointed." He slowly ripped the skin of his arm off, and while it healed instantaneously for the blonde, the man was suffering throughout. Hidan smirked.

"Or dead." He finished for Naruto. Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"Or dead." He agreed. With a sigh, he stabbed himself through his heart, and watched as the bandit suffered the same fate. To the thug, the pain was lethal, but to the Jashinist, it was the best thing he had felt in a while. The man fell to the ground, dead. Naruto closed his eyes for a moment, and the cleaver faded away. Hidan noticed something fall from the bandit's pocket.

"Oh? Naruto-chan, what's that?" He asked. Naruto bent down, and picked the unknown object up. His eyes widened. In his hands was a strange metal trinket, saturated with strange chakra. He inspected it, wondering what it did.

"It seems you've made our goal easy, Naruto-kun." A slippery voice spoke ahead of him. Hidan was glaring, and Naruto looked up, to see Orochimaru, Kabuto, and, to their right, Sasuke himself.

"Give us the pointer, Naruto-kun, and we might not hurt you." Orochimaru spoke again. Naruto looked down at the pointer, then straight to Sasuke. His eyes widened. "Ah, it seems you know what it does, or at least, where it leads. Give it here." He ordered. "It would be such a shame to have to kill you after you show such prowess as a ninja." He almost complimented. Hidan growled.

"Hehe...." Naruto paused, then started laughing manically. Sasuke shifted, sharingan focused on his old team mate intently, Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, and Kabuto pushed his glasses further up his nose.

"Is he insane? Hidan-sama may have done something to him..." Kabuto mused, and tensed when Naruto reacted.

"AHAHAHAHAHA-no. I'm perfectly sane." He said, and even Hidan looked unconvinced. "It's just, I so vividly remember a conversation similar, between you and Sasuke. One about an exam scroll, in fact." He said, shaking his head. "You still went after him. In fact," He smiled, lifting the trinket level with his head. "You're still after him, aren't you?" He asked, and Sasuke couldn't help but smirk a little. Orochimaru's eyes narrowed.

"So you know where it leads?" He asked, and Naruto nodded. He looked it over again, then tossed it over to the snake-sannin.

"Eh, take it. I wasn't here for that. I doubt it will work anyway." He dismissed, turning away. "I mean, come on. You couldn't deal with Itachi; why the hell do you think you can take over Sasuke?" He said over his shoulder. Three kunai came from Kabuto lodging into the blonde's back. Naruto stopped, gasping. Kabuto smirked, but it was wiped of his face when Naruto whirled around, a fist slapping against his open palm, remembering something. "Oh, and I almost forgot! How rude am I?!" He smiled over at Sasuke, with a wave. "Hiya, Sasuke-kun! Please don't cause trouble by letting Konoha know I was here! Ja!" He greeted, before jumping away, flicking the kunai from his back. "Pesky kunai."

Hidan laughed. "You're crazy, Naruto-chan!" Naruto just shrugged.

Kabuto and Orochimaru shared a glance. The snake smiled, licking his lips.

"Naruto-kun has grown up quite...deliciously." He said, and Kabuto looked concerned.

"This is a big change from when we met him with his team before...and did you see Hidan-sama in Naruto's arms? " He asked for no reason. Sasuke was still looking at where Naruto had left.

"Hn." He simply said, and the three jumped away.

"How did he know where the pointer led?" Kabuto asked. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the mention of the trinket, Orochimaru's next plan to be able to take over Sasuke's body without trouble.

_"And last._" He muttered to himself, watching the snake carefully.

"Didn't you hear what he said before? Naruto-kun is a Jashinist; he probably sensed the chakra on it the second he touched it." Orochimaru informed, smirking. "He would have been a perfect vessel, or at the very least, an ally, if not for the Kyuubi within him."

Sasuke 'hn'ed again, replaying the two meetings he had with Naruto in his head.


	5. Chapter 5

(Hey, guys! Here's a new chapter. I'm depressed because my wow accounts messed up, so...bye.)

"That was fun!" Hidan cried, as Naruto lay down on his futon with a huff, throwing his tie at the wall.

"I didn't expect to see Orochimaru or Kabuto. Sasuke-kun was a nice surprise, though." He said, and Hidan looked down frowning.

"Why are you calling him 'Sasuke-kun'? Didn't he betray you to go to..." Hidan growled again. "That boy-fucking traitor Orochimaru and his bitch Kabuto?" Naruto covered Hidan's mouth.

"Don't swear so much, Hidan-kun." He scolded, but he was smiling. "Anyway, he's doing what he has to do to get peace. I mean, I'd leave Konoha without a second's notice if Konoha didn't offer what I wanted." He said, rolling onto his stomach. Jiraiya sat on Naruto's back.

"Actually, yeah, why the hell do you stay here? Konoha offers you nothing." the plushie asked. Naruto looked up, thinking.

"Well, all pain I feel is for Jashin-sama, and this place is where I feel the most pain." He explained. Hidan looked as if he understood, but Jiraiya didn't.

"What the- you stay here because people hurt you here?!" He asked, and Naruto smiled. "What kind of cruel god would-" He stopped, feeling the two's killing intent.

"Why do people think that Jashin-sama is cruel?" Naruto asked himself. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Yo, listen up, old man." He said, and smirked at Jiraiya's glare. "We don't feel pain like you do. You non-believers hate pain, as it hurts for you." he let Naruto finish for him.

"We truly believe in Jashin-sama; our immortality is proof of that. Jashin-sama rewards those who are faithful. Pain isn't pain to us. In fact," He smirked. "We like it." Jiraiya gaped at them for a second, then shook his head.

"I guess this is where Emos come from..." He started jokingly, but twitched when he saw Naruto nodding, holding Hidan's head up, and making him nod as well.

"Wannabes, they are!" Naruto said, sagely. Jiraiya nodded, but they stopped when they heard a knocking on the door. Jiraiya collapsed, and Naruto jumped up, grabbing Hidan, and throwing him into the closet. "Who's there?" He called, running to the door.

"Open up, dickless; It's Sai." He heard, and the blonde groaned. He opened the door.

"Yes, Sai? What do you want?" He asked, and Sai looked him over.

"You're not wearing orange." He commented, not answering Naruto's question. Naruto smiled.

"If I'm going to wear it everyday, without washing it daily, I'm going to take it off when I'm off duty." He said, not completely bringing up his mask. Sai shifted to the side.

"It's rude to talk to your visitors at the door, dickless." Sai said, fake smile in effect. Naruto stared at him for a moment, then moved out of the way.

"Then get in." He said shortly, and Sai, at his own pace walked in, and sat at the table. He looked at the Jiraiya plushie in question.

"Why do you have a soft toy of Jiraiya-sama?" He asked, eyebrow raised. Naruto coughed, looking away.

"I made it when he died." He said, picking it up, and holding it to his chest. He sat down opposite Sai. "What is it?" He asked again, and Sai leaned back.

"I told the rest of team seven that you weren't going to join us in training. They weren't happy." He informed. Naruto lowered his head with a sigh.

"Thank you, Sai." He said, and smiled. "That's not all, is it?" He asked wryly. Sai crossed his arms over his bare stomach.

"It is normal for a team mates to want to spend time with each other, yes?" He asked, and Naruto groaned.

"What, you read that in a book?" He asked, and saw Sai's nod. "Sai, you don't read books on how to interact with people, because most likely the people writing those books don't talk to anyone!" He exclaimed. Sai blinked. "-And don't smile fake smiles either!"

"Then what do people do to interact with people?" Sai asked, all emotion dropping from his face. Naruto looked away, trying to think of a way to answer without dropping his mask, but grit his teeth.

"Just...do what you think you should do. You learn by experience, and soon enough, you know what to do and what not to do." He said hesitantly.

"Is that what you do? Hiding what you really think, so people can't use it against you?" Sai said, looking at Naruto intently. The blonde faltered.

"Wh-what?" He stuttered, and Sai leaned forward.

"You're hiding from the village. You're hiding from the team. You're hiding from me." He said, touching Naruto's face. Said blonde leaned back, blushing. "Don't use fake masks, and I'll stop smiling when I don't mean it."

Naruto got up suddenly. "I...er-I'll get some tea, ne?" he stammered, walking to the fridge, Sai watching him in what seemed to be amusement.

"Yes. You do that." He said, almost affectionately. Naruto smile looking back.

"See? You still have emotions, they're just really hidden. Let them out." He said, blush slowly disappearing. Sai smiled.

Naruto placed the tea on the table, but as he did so, Sai reached forward, grabbing Naruto's hand, and pulled him over the table, to the floor, and sat above him. Naruto cried out in surprise, but Sai hushed him.

"Okay, then, I'm letting them out." He said, voice deep. He buried his head into the crook of Naruto's neck, breathing in.

"S-Sai..." Naruto whispered, red, and slightly scared. He saw Jiraiya staring intently at the two from behind Sai.

Sai nipped at a bit of Naruto's shoulder, making the blonde gasp. Jiraiya turned, hearing movement in the closet, and smiled somewhat. He used some of his hair to open the closet.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING TO NARUTO-CHAN, YOU BASTARD!!!!????" Hidan's voice yelled. Sai jumped up, unsheathing his weapon, in front of Naruto, as if to protect him. Naruto's eyes softened, despite the hell that was about to unfold. He jumped up, and grabbed Jiraiya, and tried to get to the closet before Sai, but was too late.

"A...living head?" Sai questioned quietly, then his eyes widened. "Hidan from Akatsuki!" He realized, raising his weapon. Naruto jumped in front, blocking Sai. "What's going on, Naruto?" He asked, eyes boring into Naruto's.

The blonde smiled. "You...want me to stop pretending, ne? Okay then..." He said, turning to pick Hidan up.

"What the- Naruto-chan, if you tell him-" He started, but Naruto placed a finger on his lips.

"He won't tell anyone, ne?" He asked, and Sai, after looking at the two, nodded. "Well, I'll tell you everything, if you stop acting, ne?" He asked, and again, Sai nodded. Naruto walked back to the table, and sat down. Sai sat next to him, noticing the slight flinch Naruto gave.

"We-well, first is that I'm a Jashinist." He said, and Sai's eyes widened. "You know what that is, ne?"

"Yes."

"I have been since I was eight. Jashin-sama saved me from a...an attack by a gang in the village, and I have been loyal ever since." The three around him all noticed the pause before attack. "I was told to get Hidan-kun." He gestured to the head in his arms, who stuck his tongue out at Sai. "And give him a body. Over there," He pointed at Jiraiya. "This plushie contains Jiraiya-ecchi's life force and soul, so I can bring him back." He explained, and looked over at Sai sharply. "It is really important that no one else finds out, lest they try and interrupt me, or use me as a weapon." At this, Sai tensed.

"No one will find out." He promised, grabbing Naruto's hand. Naruto at first flinched, but slowly relaxed.

"A-ah. I still haven't discovered how to return Hidan-kun and Jiraiya-ecchi to bodies, and it will take some time for me to prepare once I do." He said. He smiled. "-And that's about it." He finished, and Sai squeezed his hand gently. "Ne?"

"What was your life like before you became a ninja?" Sai asked. Naruto tensed. Hidan looked up at him.

"That's right. Last time I asked about your past, you freaked out on me." He said, and Naruto smiled sadly, looking out the window.

"Because just thinking about the treatment I got from the villagers has that affect on me..." He said softly. "I don't think I can tell someone again." He said, and looked over at Jiraiya. "Jiraiya-kun, can you tell them?" He asked, and stood, pulling from Sai's grasp, and placing Hidan on the table. "I'm going to sleep." He announced. "Goodnight, Jiraiya-ecchi, Hidan-kun...Sai-kun." He added, and ran off. The two turned to Jiraiya, who sighed.

"Well, I guess I have no choice. Ever since he was born, people have tried to kill or get rid of him. He's been cut up three times, set on fire in his house eight times, and the number of times he had been beaten, well," He chuckled bitterly. "he stopped keeping count ages ago. I'm just saying all of this frankly, but everything Naruto's gone through is much worse than it sounds." He jumped onto the table. "He has been betrayed many times by the people at the orphanage, the hospital and his caretakers, but the worst thing that has happened to him..." He looking above their heads into space. "The reason he flinches when people touch him..." He trailed off, and both the men gave him their utmost attention. "Is that...a group of men-when he was younger- kidnapped him...and...did things to him..." Jiraiya said uneasily.

Hidan paled, and Sai looked completely unemotional. "Rape?" He asked, and Jiraiya nodded, before falling over at the huge amounts of killing intent that were exuding from the two.

"W-watch out! If you attract attention, people will come to kill Naruto!" he cried out, and grew dizzy as the killing intent disappeared completely. He hopped over to Naruto's room, looking inside.

"Good, Naruto hasn't woken up yet. Strange, as usually the smallest amount of KI causes him to jump up." He said, and picked up Hidan. "We're all going to bed now." He ordered, and Sai got up to leave. "Where do you think you are going?"

Sai blinked. "My house, to my bed." He answered, but Jiraiya laughed.

"If Naruto didn't directly tell you to leave when we finished, then he doesn't mind if you spend the night." He said, and pointed to another rolled up futon. "Just unroll that and sleep there." He said, and yawned. "Naruto will be happy to have another person to take care of." At that, he dropped Hidan into Naruto's arms, and fell asleep on the blonde's head.

Sai watched the blonde for a while, his view of Naruto changing dramatically. He let, for the first time, a true smile show on his face, and lay down on the futon he had unrolled.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:Hi everyone! I was breaking up this story into chapters, and I found out that I have _at least_ up to chapter 9, if not more! Hurrah!**

With a groan, Naruto got up, rubbing his face sleepily. He looked around, smiled at the three other men, who were snoozing peacefully. His eyes lingered on Sai before he got up, changed into his orange clothes, and walked to the kitchen, getting breakfast and some of dinner ready. He flipped the omelettes carefully, humming a random song that popped into his head.

He sensed someone coming in so, without turning, he greeted them. "Ohayo, Sai-kun. How was your night?" He asked, and stiffened when Sai wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"Very nice, Naruto-kun. Thank you for letting me stay over. " The normally emotionless boy hummed into Naruto's ear. The blonde couldn't help but blush. "Though, Naruto?" He asked, and Naruto cocked his head to the side in question.

"Ne?"

"I won't let anyone hurt you like they did in the past." He said seriously, and Naruto took a deep breath, trying to not think of the traumatic memories.

"Th-thank you, Sai-kun. Can you get Jiraiya-ecchi and Hidan-kun? We're going to eat soon." He requested, and Sai nodded. Reluctantly he left Naruto, to go back into the room. Naruto felt slightly cold when he did.

"Eh! That fucking hurts, Sai-teme! Lemme go!" Hidan cried, and Naruto turned to see Sai holding an asleep Jiraiya in the crook of his right arm, and Hidan by his hair.

Naruto jumped forward, and placed an omelette each in front of the three, and one for himself. They sat down, and with a shared, "Itakdakimasu!" All began to dig in, except Hidan, who, contrary to his usual impatient attitude, waited for Naruto to finish before asking to be fed.

After the meal, Naruto and Sai got up, "Eh, where are you going?"Hidan asked, and the two stopped to look at him.

"Team meeting and training. We have it daily." Naruto explained, and Hidan rolled his eyes.

"Oh, right. Teams. Been a while since I was in one of those." He laughed, and if he had a body, he would have rubbed the back of his neck. Naruto smiled.

"We'll be back later today, ne?" He said, and the two left.

Naruto coughed to get Sai's attention. "Yes, Naruto-kun?" The other boy asked.

"Err...how angry is Sakura?" He asked, not needing to clarify what he was talking about. Sai smiled too.

"She thinks you just skipped because you wanted to sleep in." He told the blonde, who looked indignant. "I will say today that you felt ill." Naruto looked over at him thankfully.

"Okay, I'll keep to that story. You're kinder than I thought you were when we first met." He said, and made a face. "But that was probably because the first thing you did was insult my masculinity. I may look slightly effeminate, but I'm still a guy, so I got offended." He explained. Sai chuckled.

"I would have been disappointed had you ended up a girl. I don't find women attractive." He said, blandly, and Naruto blushed.

"Sh-shut up!" He said, punching Sai's shoulder lightly.

"You see, a girl would have punched me much harder."

Naruto pouted at him. "Are you implying that I am weaker that a girl?" He asked, and Sai shook his head.

"Less temperamental."

Naruto grinned. "Oh that's okay then." He said, and looked ahead to see Kakashi and Sakura looking at the two dubiously. "Hi, guys!" He greeted. Sakura looked between the two, blinked, then unleashed her RAGE©.

"NARUTOOO! Where were you yesterday?!" She screeched. Sai stepped in front of Naruto slightly, to hide him from the RAGE©.

"He was sick. I went to check on him." He said, and Naruto played his part by looking put out. "I had to stay over, he couldn't take care of himself."

"Sai! I didn't ask for your help!" Sai smiled.

"I wanted to help anyway." He said, dropping his condescending act. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"How..._sweet_ of you, Sai-_kun_." He drawled. Sai smirked.

"You know you love me." He teased, and Naruto laughed.

"You see? Your emotions are coming through fine!" He said, poking Sai to prove his point.

Kakashi stared at the two of them. "Weeeeeell, it seems you two have hit it off. I'd ask...but I'm not sure I want to know." He said. Sakura jumped forward.

"I do! Why do you suddenly like each other?" She asked, and Naruto shrugged.

"He's not so much of an jerk as I thought." He said bluntly, winking toward Sai.

"He's helping me let out my emotions and fit into society." He said, and Sakura looked doubtful.

"Naruto? Fit into society? I don't know about that..." She said, and Naruto huffed. He turned to Kakashi.

"Well, Kakashi-sensei? What are we doing today?" He asked, and the jounin flipped through his porn thoughtfully.

"We're going to do some D-ranked missions, just for old time's sake." He said, waiting for the outburst.

"Oh, really? In that case, I'll get them done with Kage Bunshin." Naruto said, bored. Sai nodded, but Sakura exploded.

"D-RANK?! WE'VE TRAINED FOR THREE YEARS AND WE'RE STILL STUCK WITH D-RANKS?!" She screamed. Kakashi lowered his book slowly, as if fearing the girl.

"Well, one of us is still a genin, so we can't technically do any higher missions." He said, and Sakura sent a small glare Naruto's way, but flinched as she got two large ones sent back at her from her two team mates.

"It's not my fault I came here just after they had the Exams!" Naruto defended himself. Sai stepped forward.

"Neither is it that the Jounin status he gained while travelling does not count here in Konoha." He added, making all three stare at him.

"H-How did you know about that?" Naruto asked, shaken. Sai smiled innocently.

"Danzo had me look you up before joining your team." He said. Sakura and Kakashi continued to stare at the blonde.

"You never told us that you had a Jounin rank, Naruto." Kakashi said, his porn completely out of sight. Naruto smiled slightly.

"Well, it didn't count here, so it didn't matter. At least, I didn't think it mattered..." He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Sai stepped forward, catching the hand, and lowered it gently. Naruto glared at him lightly. "You're a stalker, Sai."

Kakashi watched the interaction between the two in suspicion, but didn't bring it up. "That would mean that you would have to take a jounin exam to be promoted. They are coming soon." He said, but Naruto shook his head.

"I...not yet. Jiraiya's just died. I...he trained me for that, you know? It would be too hard for me to go through with that...yet." He said looking away, trying to choose the right words. Kakashi didn't look like he understood, but accepted it anyway.

"When they come I'll ask you again." he said, then Naruto turned and pointed a Sai accusingly.

"Why the heck did you bring it up?!"He asked, and Sai smiled.

"Because everyone thinks that you're JUST a genin rank ninja." He said, and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, soooo kind of you." He looked at Kakashi again. "So what are we doing today?" He placed his fingers together in a familiar seal, making a few clones appear next to him. Kakashi smirked.

"You need to just catch the cat. We have to do at least one mission a day." He said, and Naruto ran off to unleash his RAGE!NARUTO VERSION©.


	7. Chapter 7

A few minutes later, Naruto and Sai walked back to his apartment, Naruto surprisingly free of scratches.

"I hate that cat." He said simply. Sai let out a tiny sweatdrop.

"Yes...I do not think that cat will set foot from its house for quite a while." Naruto smirked.

"Did you see the look that _*cow*,_" He whispered that last word. "gave me when I gave Sora-chan back?" He asked. Sai looked at him in question.

"Ever since yesterday, you haven't sworn in front of me. Why is that?" He asked. Naruto looked around.

"Eh..I don't really like swearing, though sometimes that situation calls for it. It's disrespectful, you know?" He explained. Sai frowned.

"But Hidan swears...all the time." He asked, and Naruto smirked.

"Not any more!" He said, sounding almost threatening. Sai smirked, before staring behind him. Naruto turned, to started as he saw what looked to be Deidara, in normal clothes, with a genjutsu over his face. The older blonde locked eyes with Naruto, then grinned.

"Ah, I found you, un!" He said, happily. Sai stepped in front if Naruto protectively. Deidara laughed slightly.

"I'm not here to cause trouble, un. I need help." He asked. Naruto looked at him funnily. The Akatsuki member looked around uncomfortably. "Somewhere less...deadly, maybe?" He asked. Naruto sighed, leading him toward his home.

"Naruto-kun..." Sai said, concerned, Naruto smiled.

"It's not like he can kill me, ne?" Sai couldn't argue with that.

When they sat down at the living room, Jiraiya came in with Hidan.

"HI, NARUTO-CHAN- DEIDARA?" Hidan yelled, and Deidara burst out laughing.

"You look pathetic, un." He said. Jiraiya glared.

"What do you want, Akatsuki chump?" He asked dangerously. Deidara held his hands up.

"I'm just asking for help." He said, and blinked as Naruto set some tea down for him. "Un?"

"You're a guest." Naruto answered, then watched him. "What is it?" Deidara hesitated, then spoke.

"Eh...I found out that you were a Jashinist, un, and that you were going to revive Hidan-san..." He started. Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"How'd you know that?" He asked, seriously. Deidara held out a small clay spider.

"I was kinda spying on you...un." He sweatdropped, but went back to the point. "I was wondering...could you also revive Sasori-danna?" He asked, and Hidan glared.

"NO WAY, NOW THAT SASORI-TEME AND KAKUZU ARE DEAD, I AM THE ONLY IMMORTAL ONE FROM AKATSUKI!" He yelled, but Naruto covered his mouth. He studied the other blonde closely.

"Why do you want that?" He asked.

Deidara looked out the window sadly, while Jiraiya rolled his eyes.

"Sasori-danna...is special to me, un. Even though he annoyed the hell outta me, he was still my...partner, you know?" He asked, and Naruto nodded, leaning forward.

"He...was very important to you..." He trailed off, as if absorbing the emotions Deidara was exuding. He closed his eyes. He grabbed Deidara's shirt, pulling him forward, their foreheads touching eachother.

"UN?" Deidara cried out, before staring into Naruto's newly opened and bright amethyst eyes. Naruto stared right through him. Hidan's eyes also shone purple, and he huffed.

"Hai, Jashin-sama..." He said, and Naruto re-focused. He smiled, moving away.

"Do you know where his 'body' is?" He asked, and Deidara nodded, taking out a scroll. Naruto crinkled his nose. "You kept him in that?" He asked, and Deidara nodded.

"Where do I take it out?" Naruto sighed, getting up, and taking his jacket off, revealing his form fitting black shirt.

"Come on. Sai-kun, you can come too." He said, and Sai let out a true smile.

"Thank you Naruto-kun." He said, but Naruto waved it off.

"I don't want to hide any more secrets from you. It's nice to not act." He said truthfully. Deidara smirked.

"AWWWwww...are you two lovers, un?" He asked bluntly, Naruto jumped, Sai's eyes widened, Jiraiya let his head fall to the side, and Hidan exploded.

"HELLS NO!" He answered, and Deidara raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't ask you. Why are you so angry over this?" He asked slyly. Hidan didn't answer, and Naruto picked him up gently.

"Leave him alone, Deidara-kun." He said, and Deidara grinned.

"Aww. What about you two? Lovers or not?" He asked to get a rise out of Sai, but was disappointed. On the inside though, unseen, Sai was glaring at him.

"We're going to the dungeon, Naruto?" Jiraiya asked, hopping onto Deidara's shoulder. Naruto nodded.

"This...is not going to be pleasant." He said sadly. Jiraiya nodded.

"Where are we going?" Hidan asked. Naruto walked to his bedroom wall, placing a hand on it, and pushed his chakra into it. It cracked, pushed back, and moved to the side. Revealed was a dark and circular staircase, and Deidara couldn't help but gulp.

"Down to my safe area. I came down here when I was injured from the villager's...attacks." He walked down, and everyone was disturbed by the bloodstains and hand prints on the walls. After what seemed forever, they finally stopped walking in circles, and met a long hallway, similar to Orochimaru's hiding spots, lit by strange purple flames. They entered the first door to the left, and saw three stone pedestals, large enough for a person each. He pointed to the first.

"Put him there." He directed, and Deidara unfolded his scroll, and with a poof, the bloody box that held Sasori's innards rested on the smooth stone. Naruto sighed, and walked out of the room. Jiraiya told them to stay, and they did, feeling small in the creepy darkness that surrounded them. Naruto returned, holding something, and led the group back to ground level.

"Why do you have a dungeon in your basement?" Deidara asked, and Naruto shrugged.

"There was a rumour that a great evil used to haunt this place, so I was the only person willing to buy it." He said, unfolding the materials in his arms. "People said it suited a demon like me." Everyone frowned slightly at that.

"Well...is there? And what's that, un?" The older blonde asked.

"Yeah... a vampire, actually. He's not that 'evil' though. He comes out every year or so when his fasts finish, and sometimes I go down to accompany him." He said, and looked down to the bundle in his hands. "And this...I'm going to make a Sasori plushie. So I can contain his soul." he held out half of the bundle. "Wanna make one too?" Deidara brightened.

"Un!" He grabbed the materials, and a needle, and got to work. Jiraiya watched as Naruto skilfully threaded the things together, in wonder.

"So this is how you made me, ne?" He asked, and Naruto nodded.

"You were really hard to make, though." He answered. Deidara cursed. "What is it, Deidara-kun?" Deidara covered his hand. "Did you prick yourself?"

He held his hand up, showing the mouth on his palm. "I pricked my tongue, un..." He pouted, and Hidan made a face.

"You and your freaky hand-mouths..."

Naruto smirked. "Oh well. If you had pricked your finger, I would have kissed it better, but because it's your tongue..." He let the sentence trail off, and turned back to his work, as everyone stared at him, openmouthed.

"Did Naruto-kun..." Sai asked.

"Just make..." Jiraiya continued.

"A PERVERTED JOKE?" Hidan yelled out in shock. Deidara blinked, then shrugged.

"Not a very good one." He said, and Naruto hummed.

"I should have used 'suck' instead of 'kiss', ne?" He asked, not looking up. Deidara nodded, eyes still glued on his 'plushie'. They both sigh, for different reasons.

"My doll doesn't look that good, un..." Deidara said sadly. Naruto smiled.

"You will get it eventually-" He said, when a loud knock at the door made everyone start. Sai and Naruto got up.

They walked into the hallway, and Naruto opened the door, cautiously. Sakura was on the other side.

"Oh, hi, Sakura-chan!" He greeted, and she stared at him carefully. "W-what?"

Green eyes surveyed him. "Naruto, do you know where Sai is?" She asked, and Naruto moved to the side, showing Sai, who raised a hand in greeting. "Oh. Can I talk to you?" She asked, and the two left, Sakura not even saying goodbye. Naruto blinked, then sighed, closing the door.

* * *

"What is it, Sakura? It is not polite for a crone like you to pull me off like this." Sai said, inwardly smirking at the annoyance he was causing the pinkette.

"What's been going on with Naruto lately? He's not acting normal." Sai just looked at her. "Tell me darn it! Suddenly he's a travelling jounin, and you two are best friends! That's not normal!"

Sai frowned, and Sakura blinked at the emotion that he suddenly was showing.

"What is your idea of Naruto's normality?" He answered with a question. Sakura looked at him in question.

"What do you-"

"Humour me." Sai interrupted bluntly. Sakura glared, before speaking.

"He's usually bright, goofy, happy, and acts stupidly." She smiled. "He never gives up, even if it's hopeless." She said, and Sai smiled a little bit.

"So you say he is happy all the time?" Sakura nodded. "I am not an expert in emotions, but it is obvious to me that no one can be happy all the time, especially if they are looked down on all the time." He said, and Sakura looked at him weirdly.

"What are you talking about?" She shook her head. "Why are you two getting along so well?"

"You said yourself; we've gotten closer. No one else seemed to go out of their way to talk to him." He shook his head. "He's not happy all the time. I'm hardly ever happy. We understand each other." He said simply. He turned to the right suddenly, leaving Sakura standing there. "Don't visit Naruto for the next couple of weeks." He warned.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm back." Sai called, closing the door behind him. He walked into the main room, and Naruto jumped up.

"Welcome back! What did you- hey what's that?" He asked, pointing to a box Sai was holding.

"After talking to Sakura I stopped at that Ramen stand you like so much." Sai was rewarded with the brightest and more sincere look of happiness ever to appear on someone's face. This was Naruto's JOY©.

"Really?" Naruto asked, and Sai turned to box to the side, showing the 'Ichiraku' logo. Naruto jumped forward to hug him, but stopped half-jump. "Err...thank you!" He amended. Sai wanted to frown, but didn't.

"You're welcome." He answered, and set the bowls down on the table. Jiraiya, still perched on Deidara's shoulder, rolled his eyes.

"You've only been over for a day, and you practically LIVE here." He said, and looked around at the group. "Hell, we have three more people living here." Hidan looked confused.

"You're not counting yourself, are you?" He asked, and Jiraiya stared at him.

"No. I was talking about Sasori." Deidara brightened, and returned to his work with new vigor. Naruto looked over at Deidara's attempt.

"How are you going?" He asked. Deidara looked up at him, slightly annoyed.

"It's not looking anywhere near what Sasori-danna looks like...I can mould clay easily, but threads and needles are beyond me, un! This was Kakuzu's thing." Naruto smiled.

"You'll get it. Don't be afraid to start over, I have a lot of materials that I don't use." He said, and Sai pushed a ramen bowl beneath the Jashinist's chin.

"Eat." He said simply. Naruto pouted at him, but did as he was told.

"So I'll keep the spare futon out, ne?" He asked, and Sai blinked, not understanding. "Well, you might as well stay here if you're going to spend so much time here." Sai almost grinned.

"Are you...asking me to live with you?" He asked, and Naruto stared for a moment, silent.

"Yeah, basically." He finally said, and Hidan gaped.

"Naruto." He spoke, surprisingly quiet. Naruto looked at him in question. "Can I speak to you for a moment? Privately?" He asked, and Naruto nodded, picking him up. With a wave, he left the room.

"What is it, Hidan-kun?" He asked, noticing Hidan's troubled look.

"Are you sure you should invite Sai to stay?" He asked, and Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"If you have a problem with it, just say so. Your opinion counts too, Hidan-kun." He said, and Hidan smiled slightly.

"Thank you, Naru-chan, but I'm talking about you. Jiraiya told us about what happened to you when you left." Naruto nodded, stiffening. "From what I've seen from you, you're just getting used to having people touch you, and you're already letting a guy who you know is attracted to you stay here." Naruto looked down at him, eyes swimming with confusion and hope.

"I..don't understand it. Sai said he'd never let that happen to me ever again, and I believe him..." He held Hidan closer. "It's strange."

Hidan frowned, but sighed. "If that's what you think...fine. I would never let anything like that happen again either. I-god this is hard- care about you, Naru-chan." Naruto's eyes widened, seeing Hidan in a new light.

"Hidan-" He started.

"-look, kid, don't look too far into it, okay?" Naruto nodded, smiling.

"Is that why you don't like Sai?" He asked, and Hidan looked to the side.

"I wish I had my body back...I teach that boy to act like he does." He grumbled. Naruto giggled, and gave the older Jashinist a kiss on the cheek.

"You'll have one soon." He promised, then looked uncomfortable. "Look, if I make it seem like I don't like you, or if I really like you, don't put too much stock into it. I still don't know how I feel about having people like me...like that." He said, and Hidan looked understanding.

"I won't do anything to you." He said, and Naruto stood.

"You're so different from when I first met you." He said, smiling slightly. Hidan would have shrugged, had he been able to.

They went back to the main room, and Naruto sat down.

"Hey, Sai-teme." Hidan called, and the dark boy looked at him cautiously.

"Yes, Hidan-san?" He asked. Hidan stared at him intently.

"Hurt Naruto, and you WILL die." His eyes glowed purple, before he grinned. "I hope we'll get along. But I doubt it." He looked up at Naruto. "That's as good as I can get." Naruto nodded.

"Thank you, Hidan-kun." He said.

* * *

The next time Sai came back to the house, carrying his stuff, he was greeted with a heart-warming, "Welcome home, Sai-kun!"

* * *

"Let's see your plushie, Deidara-kun!" Naruto chirped, and Deidara sulkily held it up. It wasn't finished yet. Naruto smiled, and held up his own. "I'm going to place Sasori's soul into this one right now!" He said, and Deidara looked at the finished doll.

"I'll...be able to talk to him again?" He asked, and Naruto nodded. He started to get up, but Naruto stopped him.

"You guys are going to wait here. Jiraiya and I are going to do it. Any more chakra, and the ritual would be disrupted." Deidara sighed, and nodded. Naruto and Jiraiya left for the secret entrance.

"Aww, worried about your seme?" Hidan jeered, and was answered by a hand-tongue stuck out at him.

"At least I have a body, un." he said, and Hidan glared. Deidara looked up at Sai and Hidan. "So...which one of you is actually dating Naruto-kun, un?" He asked. Both started.

"What are you talking about?" Hidan asked, off guard. Sai didn't answer.

"It's obvious both of you have the hots for him." He said conversationally. "But neither of you have made a move."

"It's not that simple." Sai said shortly. Deidara shook his head, smiling.

"I guess that's a good thing. If you did, I might just kill you." he said, and Hidan glared.

"I thought you liked Sasori." He growled, and Deidara nodded.

"I do. I don't think of Naruto-kun like that. But I'll protect him." He said, then cursed again. "This doll is so stupid! It doesn't look like him at all!"

"Doesn't look like who?" An unfamiliar voice rang out, and everyone turned to see Naruto at the doorway, Jiraiya on one shoulder, looking shocked, and on the other-

"Sasori-danna!" Deidara cried, jumping up. A live Sasori plushie looked over at him, his face unreadable.

"Deidara. You asked the Kyuubi vessel to bring me back?" He asked, and Deidara hesitantly nodded. The plushie's eyes closed. "Thank you." Deidara grabbed him, holding him.

"Naruto-kun, thank you!" He said, and Naruto raised his hands.

"The job's only half done! Now, let's see that plushie!" He smirked, and Sasori looked curiously at the doll on the table.

"It's not good, un." Deidara said sadly. Sasori raised his arm, and one could see, if they squinted, a chakra string shooting toward the doll. It stood up, and looked around.

"It's very good...Deidara-chan." The puppet user said, and Naruto sat down, leaving them in their own world.

"What's with Jiraiya?" Hidan asked. Naruto put the shocked toy down.

"He was surprised at how powerful the ritual was, I think." He explained.

"So...shiny...and sparkley..." Jiraiya muttered, and everyone but Sasori and Deidara sweatdropped.

"Oh, maybe not..." Naruto corrected himself. "It was very shiny." He confirmed. He then looked over at the two seriously. "I think I've figured out how to get your bodies back now." Hidan grinned.

"How?" Naruto looked grim.

"I'll need three bodies. Bodies roughly the same age, but completely blank." Sai frowned.

"Blank?" He asked. Naruto nodded.

"As in, all hair cells cleaned from the corpse, all dirt removed, blood drained..." he trailed off. "Basically, something that is beyond my skills. Which would mean..." Sai leaned forward.

"Yes?"

"Well, who's the only person we know of that carries a scroll of clean corpses, all different ages?" He asked. Hidan's eyes widened.

"Orochimaru's bitch, Kabuto." He said, and Naruto nodded.

Sai sighed. "So we're going to go to Sound?" He asked, and Naruto frowned.

"We? I was planning to go, but-"

"We're going with you, un!" Deidara butted in, clearly listening. Naruto stammered.

"-But, Jiraiya, Hidan and Sasori-" He said, but this time, Sasori spoke.

"I am able to use my puppetry; Deidara-chan stored them. Jiraiya can use his hair. The only useless one would be Hidan, but you will take him anyway." He looked intently at Naruto. "Naruto...-kun, I owe you my life." He said, and Naruto blushed.

"It was nothing." Deidara shook his head.

"It was not nothing, un!" He said. Naruto looked down, smiling.

"When will we go?" Jiraiya asked, over his shock.

"In three days, because we don't have team meetings on Sundays." He bit his lip. "If we run, we can get to Sound pretty quickly."

"What will we do to avoid suspicion? We'll need some kind of excuse." Sai asked. Naruto smirked.

"I've got that covered..."

* * *

"Where ARE they?" Sakura mumbled to herself, and she walked toward Naruto's house, against Sai's advice. She looked at Naruto's door in question. "What's this?" She took off the note that was taped to the wood.

"Dear Anybody,

Sai and I have gone out to taste every flavour of ramen in every Ramen Stand in Konoha.

See you in a week,

Naruto"

Sakura stared down at the paper for a moment, before exploding.

"THERE ARE MILLIONS OF RAMEN STANDS IN KONOHA!"


	9. Chapter 9

"That was evil, un..." Deidara trailed off, as the group ran away from Konoha.

Naruto smirked devilishly. "It would take ages for someone to taste ALL the flavours of ALL the stands." Hidan looked up from his sling appreciatively.

"Naru-chan's hot when he's evil." He said, and Naruto pretended to not hear. Jiraiya looked up in thought.

"Our group should have an awesome name...like Voo Doo or something...ya know...cuz we're like voodoo dolls...and Jashinists sorta do voodoo..."

* * *

"There's Oto." Jiraiya said unnecessarily. "Team Voo Doo, we've got to go in unnoticed!" Sasori glared at the other plushie.

"For the last time, Jiraiya-san, we are NOT going by that name." He said, Deidara nodding.

Naruto stopped. "Wouldn't Orochimaru have loads of unused entrances and tunnels to get in and out of this place?" He asked.

Sai nodded. "I know of one." Naruto pouted.

"Then why didn't you say so earlier?" He asked. Sai chuckled.

"It was a surprise." He said. Deidara rolled his eyes. Hidan glared at Sai warningly.

"Can you please stop with this love-fest? We're in the middle of a mission!" He growled, and Sai shrugged.

"We'll continue this later." He purred to Naruto, who just smiled.

Sai led them to a large hill, where a cave was visible. They were about to step forward, when Sasuke stepped out, Sharingan trained on them, Naruto in particular. He looked the blonde up and down, as if searching for any irregularities.

"Naruto." He said, and Naruto stepped forward.

"Sasuke-kun." He answered, with a small bow. Hidan glared.

"Oh great."

Sai moved closer to Naruto, ready to defend. Sasuke watched this with a small frown.

"You've brought a team." He observed, and Naruto smirked.

"Yeah, an ex-ROOT member," He moved his head toward Sai. "A sannin." He pointed to Jiraiya. "And three ex-Akatsukis" He vaguely waved to the others. "We've got a mission, and we really don't want you to get in the way."

Deidara started. "What? We can't beat him up a little, un?" He asked, and met Naruto's Glare Of Doom©.

"NO." He said, and Hidan made a face.

"Not even a-"

"There's no use." Jiraiya interrupted. "Sasuke is Naruto's 'favourite'. You'd be committing suicide if you annoyed him." Naruto smirked. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, silently repeating the word in question to himself.

"Exactly, Deidara-kun, Hidan-kun." He refocused on Sasuke. "You smell like snake blood." He commented. Sasuke stepped further out of the cave, hand resting on his sword hilt, relaxed.

"I disposed of an annoyance." He answered, and it was clear that he had killed Orochimaru.

"See, guys, THIS is why Sasuke is my favourite." He said, and Sai stared at Sasuke intently.

"Favourite what, exactly, Naru-chan?" He asked, and Naruto stared at him in return.

"Eh, my favorite human, friend, team mate- nah, not team mate." He corrected at the end.

Sasori just rolled his eyes. "Are we to bypass the Uchiha then, Naruto-kun?" He asked seriously, and Naruto nodded.

Sasuke watched this whole conversation with a hint of confusion. "Just what is your mission?" He asked.

"Well...you know where Kabuto is, ne?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, we need something he has. So we're gonna get it." He said, walking forwards, holding Hidan.

"Yeah! I'm sick of being just a head! I need to beat up Sai for being too close to Naru-chan!" He announced. Sai twitched. Naruto smirked.

"No, I'll do that myself, thank you very much." Naruto said. Turning back to Sasuke, he spoke, "Sasuke-kun, can you tell us where he is? After killing the head snake, I doubt you'd still be with Oto." He said, and Sasuke gave a small nod.

"He's probably in Orochimaru's room. I passed him as I left." He said. "Walk for a while, turn left, third door on the left." He said, and began to walk away. "Naruto." he called, and Naruto looked over from the cave to him.

"Ne?" He asked. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"Why do you act differently when you're not with Leaf nins?" He asked. Naruto smiled.

"Because they fear what they don't understand." He explained. "I hope you do not fear me, Sasuke-_kun_." He teased, eyes glowing. Sasuke 'hn'ed., before staring at Sai, eyes glaring somewhat.

"Your teammateshould stop staring and back off. He's too confident for a _replacement_. " He said, for reasons unknown, then jumped away. Sai's eyes burned as he watched the figure retreat. Naruto blinked in confusion, then shrugged.

"Come, guys. We've got a traitor to steal from!" He said, and they sneaked in.

* * *

THUNK!

"Hello, Kabuto-chan." Naruto growled, holding the older ninja against the wall, hand clamped round his neck.

"N-Naruto-kun..." Kabuto gasped, before regaining his composure. "Hello, Naruto-kun. I can't talk right now, as my leader has just been killed." He said, Naruto smirked.

"Taking it well, aren't you?" He asked. "We're after your body scroll. You can hand it over now, or we could take it from your corpse." He threatened. Kabuto smiled.

"So you're much smarter than I thought you were." He said, and reached into his pocket. Naruto glared.

"Coldness is not intelligence." He said, watching the traitor carefully. Kabuto didn't seem to respond, and pulled out his scroll. Deidara took it, reading the words inked on it carefully.

"This is it, un." He confirmed. Naruto smiled, letting Kabuto go slowly.

"Good boy." He almost purred. He looked down at Orochimaru's body. "Don't let him take you as a vessel. To properly live, you need to live on your own." He said, and they walked out, strangely not meeting any resistance.

* * *

Naruto flicked the scroll open expertly, running his pricked thumb over three kanji without looking. Three blank, male bodies appeared on the three altars. He drew seals of his own around and on them, the purple flames his only light. He sat back, looking at his work.

The first two bodies were roughly the same age, and as Kabuto didn't seem to have had a body Jiraiya's age, in it's stead, Naruto used an thirty-years old corpse, smiling at the knowledge that his teacher would live longer than he would have naturally.

He sat down, crossing his legs, Jashin's sign glowing below him. He opened his eyes, which were bright purple, the world around him looking darker. His eyes softened as he thought of the three bodiless souls, sleeping above, unaware that they would wake up in a different place, with a different body.

He looked up to the ceiling. He placed his hands together in prayer, rosary hanging from them. The flames around him shot up, sending purple light everywhere. He lowered his head, and started to chant, in a strange language.

"...Whatcha doing, un?" A voice asked from behind him. Naruto freaked out.

"AH!" The flames shot up again, before shrinking. Naruto turned to unleash his RAGE©. "Deidara-kun, DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!" Deidara jumped back, hands up.

"G-gomen, un! I was just wondering." Naruto breathed out, annoyed.

"I'm putting Sasori-kun, Jiraiya-kun, and Hidan-kun back into bodies." He explained. Deidara's eyes brightened.

"Really?" Naruto nodded. Deidara looked over the bodies. "There's no old body here, un..." Naruto nodded.

"I'm placing Jiraiya into a younger body, so he'll live longer." Naruto sighed. "I don't know how he'll take it..." Deidara grinned.

"He'd probably like it! He'll be able to flirt with girls without being all old and ugly." Naruto smiled.

"I'm going to do it now, so please be quiet."

"Why?" Another voice asked. This voice was deep, and almost growley. The two turned to see a stange man, with long black hair and blood red eyes, staring at them. Deidara whimpered like a little girl.

"Oh, hi, Ryu-kun." He nudged Deidara. "This is the vampire I was talking about." Deidara, who was in the middle of readying a bomb, stopped.

"Oh." Ryu raised a hand in greeting.

"I just woke up. What's going on?" He asked. Naruto sighed, and explained everything that was going on. Ryu's eyebrows rose comically.

"So nearly every guy that lives here, plus that Sasuke guy, is acting strange around you? I don't get you humans..."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. Now, can I get back to this?" He gestured to the bodies. Ryu pouted.

"I thought those were sacrifices for me..." He whined. Naruto stared at him until he shut up.

"Thank you." Naruto resumed his chant, and the flames shot back up. Deidara and Ryu watched in awe as the air was filled with purple smoke, which flew into the two dolls and head, and came out in the shape of the three guys. The smoke then proceeded to enter the corpses.

"And now," Naruto spoke. "The merging." The bodies shook as the souls entered, spasming and twisting. Deidara winced slightly, but continued to watch in gross fascination as the corpses' features began to change into Hidan's, Jiraiya's and Sasori's image. The purple died away, and the bodies started breathing.

"Wow..." Deidara breathed out. Ryu nodded. "Naruto-chan, are they alive now...?" He trailed off as Naruto swayed back and forth, before falling down, unconscious. "Naruto-chan!" He caught the boy before he hit the floor, and picked him up. "I'll take him to his bed."

Ryu looked over the newly animated bodies. "I'll stay here and guard these guys then." The two nodded.

* * *

Hidan groaned. "What hit me? I feel like I've been sucked through a straw..." he used a hand to wipe the sleep from his eyes, then froze. "Wait a second..."

Jiraiya stretched out yawning. "What is it, baka?" He said, and sent a message to his hair to move the covers he expected to be lying under. Nothing moved. "What the..."

Both men jumped up, looking down at themselves. "WE HAVE BODIES AGAIN!"

They were silent for a moment.

"Why am I so young?" Jiraiya asked, confused.

"Why are we naked?" Hidan yelled. Sasori rolled his eyes from the chair he was sitting on in the corner.

"Naruto must have returned us to our bodies when we were asleep." He looked himself over. "It's been a long time since I was human..."

"Yo." A person, hidden in the shadows, greeted. Everyone jumped.

"Who's there?" Hidan called. Ryu stepped into view.

"I'm Ryu, the resident vampire. I told Deidara I'd look after you guys while he kept an eye on Naruto-kun." All three men started to pay attention.

"Where is Naru-chan anyway?" Hidan asked. Ryu smiled slightly.

"He passed out after the ritual. It was too much for him." Jiraiya and Hidan jumped up, ready to run upstairs, making Ryu cover his eyes. "PLEASE GET CHANGED FIRST!" He passed them three bundles of clothes.

After they got dressed (Jiraiya in his normal clothes, now extremely baggy on him, Hidan in a Jashist robe, and Sasori in some of Naruto's clothes, which was another white shirt and black pants) they walked up the stairs with quite a bit of trouble. The house was dark.

"*GASP* Naru-chan, where- *HUFF* are you?" Jiraiya called out. Sai walked out from the bedroom.

"He's still asleep." He looked at the three. "You've got your bodies back." He simply said. Jiraiya grinned.

"Yeah! I'm young and sexy again!" He almost ran out of the apartment to the baths, but Sasori stopped him.

"We can't leave. You're supposed to be dead. We don't know how Konoha would react." Jiraiya deflated.

"Don't worry, Jiraiya-ecchi. You can go chase girls later." A soft voice spoke from behind them. Naruto had come in, tired and pale, with dark rings around his eyes. Sai handed him a cup of tea, and he sat down at the table slowly.

"Naru-chan! What's wrong?" Hidan said, slightly loud. He sat on Naruto's right and Sai on his left. Naruto looked him over, taking in his whole form, before slowly looking away, not showing much of any fear outwardly.

"Nothing. I'm just tired. That ritual took a bit too much energy from me." He yawned cutely. "What day is it today?" He asked. Sai looked up, thinking.

"Monday." Naruto groaned.

"Noooooooooo...Team Training..." He muttered into his arm on the table.

Jiraiya patted him on the head. "You know, you can tell Tsunade that you brought me back, and she'd more than happily give you the day off." Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"I could..." He said. Jiraiya jumped up.

"Please! I'm a sannin; I could easily tell them to lay off while you rest up!" Naruto got up.

"I'll probably regret this, but it is time to tell Baa-chan that you're alive." He turned to Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara. "After this, people might come over here more. I'm going to set up a second home in the dungeon, so I don't have to throw you into the closet whenever anyone comes over." Hidan, Sai, Jiraiya and Naruto all smirked.

Deidara and Sasori looked confused, and Ryu walked into the room, looking around.

"I haven't been in here for years. Naruto-kun, this is a nice place." Naruto smiled.

"Thanks Ryu-san." Ryu waved it off. He carefully looked out the window, avoiding the rays of light that spilled from it.

"I'll probably go out to feed tonight. I haven't eaten in years." Naruto looked calm, but everyone else twitched.

"OH PLEASE DON'T SUCK MY BLOOD!" Deidara cried, jumping into Sasori's arms. Sasori blinked, then hesitantly returned the embrace. Naruto 'aaww'd.

"I'll go change into my orange jumpsuit..." Naruto said, turning to his bedroom, but Jiraiya stopped him.

"I don't think they'll be caring about what clothes you're wearing! Come on!" Naruto smiled slightly.

"Come on Sai-kun." He said. Sai got ready to go, and Hidan looked away, annoyed. Naruto walked up to the other Jashinist.

"Hidan-kun..." Hidan looked down at the blonde, who, after a pause of hesitation, hugged him.

"I'll be back, if I'm lucky." He said, looking up Hidan, but addressing the whole room.

Deidara and Sasori waved goodbye, and Ryu smiled, going back downstairs. The three left the apartment, noticing all the stares and glares they got along the way.


End file.
